My Work at Amazon Studios
Credits in 2 works
Pilot Scripts
| Credits | Works | Average Rating | Plays/ Downloads |
Date Created |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Writer |
Dead Again Pilot Script 1 - A Baklava To Die For |
4.7 stars
(60)
|
72 | 07/12/12 |
Mini-bibles
| Credits | Works | Average Rating | Plays/ Downloads |
Date Created |
|---|---|---|---|---|
|
Writer, Character Designer |
Dead Again Mini-bible 1 - Dead Again |
4.5 stars
(15)
|
38 | 07/13/12 |
Reviews I've Written
Little Black Angel, Cayzar's Original Draft
0
out of
1
people found the following review helpful:
Premice could be interesting, you desperately need to work on your characters
August 08, 2012
Following
2 Projects
Semifinalist: Best Script, Best Kids and Family Script
LEON
(Comedy, Kids and Family) Kevin Scannell
(Primetime Comedy) Agata Darlasi & Angelos Kyritsis
48 People
Winner: Best Trailer
Finalist: Best Trailer
Semifinalist: Best Test Movie, Best Trailer
You really need to work on your characters on your second draft. Alvin talks way too much. Kent and Harry are practically the same character, they need to be differentiated. Kathy seems too racist for a 19 year old girl. David can't decide if he wants to come off as tough or wimpy.
No matter how good a premise, it's the characters that make the movie, especially a movie of the genre you 've chosen.
Don't forget, in the movie's universe, you are the Omnipotent God. You create the characters and you must know every single detail about them, how they grew up, what they have experienced in life, how they ended up the way they are.
If you haven't done so already (and it seems that you might have not, judging from the screenplay) I suggest that you create a detailed biography for each and every one of your main characters, that will include everything important and life-shaping, from their births up to the beginning of the movie.
Having better characters will help you improve every single aspect of your story.