Elizabeth Cauley (California)

Nathan added a lot of great little touches. Overall it's a stronger and tighter script. I'm really happy he took the time to revise this one! Great job Nathan!

I enjoyed reading this script. It was well-paced and intriguing...I read it all in one sitting. I thought you created a strong set of characters. Good work!

I really enjoyed this script. It had this real interesting Monk-esque vibe about it with the crazy cast of characters, murder, intrigue and undercover action.

I thought you had a great villain and protagonist in this script. The dialogue was snappy and the romance was very sweet. I wanted those two to get together real bad!

The only thing I might note is that I wasn't 100% sure of what was going on with the Rick character. I do read quickly so I may have missed a line, but he kept popping up and knowing so much and I wasn't sure how he was privvy. Did I miss something?

Overall, quite fun, real entertaining read.

I saw that you described this movie as a "Lifetime" movie and I think you're selling yourself short.

I really enjoyed this film. Your characters are really fleshed-out. Even though Hannah is cold and logical, she has a heart and I felt that as I read your script. I was genuinely upset when Grace died at the end of the script...she was very sweet and touched me.

This whole script is quite lovely. You have that country setting without it becoming a cliche or goofy. All of these characters could very easily become silly stereotypes but you make them feel quite real. Well done.

The only thing, and this may just be because I read fast, but I feel Grace died rather suddenly. One second she's almost done, then she's awake, and then there's the funeral/will reading. I'd love to have a scene in the middle there. Also, the romance angle could be more developed...that way you could give Hannah more of a heart.

Overall, lovely job!

There is a lot to like about this script. The idea is fantastic...the origin story of Santa Claus with all the action of Star Wars. What's not to like?

I thought the premise was very cool. I think you did a very solid job of creating a convincing setting where these characters would live. I like the romantic storyline-it was well-developed without being overbearing. There was just the right amount of story there. The addition of the fantastical elements a la Elf was fun..the reindeers sound like a riot.

There were a few things I might change. I really do feel like focusing in on a genre would help this script a lot. It starts off like an action film and then merges into a kid's movie by the end. I didn't know how to feel. If you want an adult action film, then lose some of the jokes. If it's a kid's movie then the beginning should probably be more whimsical. Also, I would lose the reindeer casting suggestions...I don't think it really matters as a reader of who would voice them.

Overall, awesome premise, structured great...just pick a style. Great job!

This script was one of the better ones I've read so far on this site. I feel like you were really comfortable with this story when you put it down. Unlike a lot of other scripts, you keep the # of characters down so I really felt like I could get to know them.

I thought the whole story was quite sweet and fun. Andy was a guy that I could understand and relate to. I thought you portrayed him as a real person and not just a cog in the machine. I loved the little touches about him...his newsboy job, his love of the violin, his playing catch with Jack. I really liked him.

The only thing I would note is your setting. I kind of get why you set it in space...it's unique and it allows for a different world. But, besides occasional references to Pluto, etc. there isn't a ton about space. I'd love to learn more about these different planet cultures.

Overall, great work! Fun read :)