Micah Gordon Los Angeles

The first act was more or less spot on. Everything flowed nicely, I (thought I) understood exactly where the story was going. It was funny, and a good introduction to the character of Max. I liked the character a lot during the first act, and Kane was introduced well.

Once Max hits law school though, the script kind of lost me. While the dialogue was at times quite funny, not much of anything happened. All sense of time was lost, and (maybe aided in part by there being no page numbers) I couldn't really place what act I was in, or what each scene was building towards. The majority of the second act was redundant, and the characters all came off as bratty. My biggest question is this: If Max & his classmates are looking to make it through law school, why are they acting like 5 year olds and blowing everything off? Also, I thought Kelly & Max needed some scenes together showing them building a relationship.

Again, some of the jokes were really great and those things should be left in the script, but I felt there needed to be a better overarching plotline, with the characters working towards something, and learning something in the process.

The premise is good. It's a tad like the original premise of the show "Community," but I think that's okay because it goes in a different direction. I think the 2nd and 3rd acts, however, need a retooling so that they flow better towards an ultimate goal.

Hope that helps! You definitely have a knack for dialogue and comedic situations--probably two of the most difficult things to do well. Also, I thought it was hilarious that you named the dean Dean Martin...there are lots of opportunities for jokes there.