Creator: Ed Wode
Genre: Comedy
Age rating: Everyone
This is a battle of the sexes comedy that pits the owner of a feminist zine called Zap against the arch conservative owner of a zine called R.A.M. for the hearts and minds of their generation. When the owner of Zap infiltrates R.A.M. and does an expose, the fireworks start.
Synopsis: ZAP SUITE


"ZAP SUITE" is a romantic comedy that opens with a young woman of seventeen and one half applying for a job as an envelope stuffer at the ridiculously high rate of $10.00 per envelope. The real purpose of the amount being paid is to recruit unspoiled young woman to R.A.M., a male supremacist organization. The Real American Male organization is owned and run by arch conservative, HOWARD HOWARD, a dashing young man of 27, who desires to surround himself with pre-feminist traditional females.

DIANA MARBLE, unsophisticated and unspoiled, falls head over heels for the handsome HOWARD. It is lust at first sight for both DIANA and HOWARD. She is not so impressed with some of her fellow female workers, however, who seem to have developed male-like attributes after working at RAM for a while. It might have something to do with the male hormones in the hot chocolate.

HOWARD and DIANA have an office love affair starting out at a beach volley ball game that gets out of hand when a PUNK RAP GANG challenge the office group to a match. After HOWARD is knocked senseless by punk foul play, DIANA's innocent mouth-to-mouth resuscitation of him leaves her pregnant. DIANA starts a band and leaves RAM not knowing she is pregnant. When she returns months later and tells HOWARD he has made her pregnant, the confirmed playboy, knowing she was under age, panics and runs off to MEXICO to change his identity so that he cannot be charged with statutory rape. He has himself changed into an oriental, but the doctor who performs the operation mistakenly turns him into a female oriental from the waste up. HOWARD is so shocked by this gender reversal condition that he suffers amnesia about his ever having been HOWARD HOWARD. He is soon, however, changed into a male oriental, plan 1. Henceforth, he only knows himself as, ROCKY ASAHI, an oriental business tycoon who has taken over the RAM organization in a leveraged buy out. HOWARD'S two stooges RON and IAN, who have arranged for his identity change, cannot make him believe any different.

DIANA, a real old-fashioned woman, decides to have HOWARD'S baby. When a PUNK RAP GANG, who have it in for HOWARD, hear that DIANA is going to have HOWARD'S baby they decide to get revenge on HOWARD by kidnapping his child and raising it as a punk. The GANG kidnaps BABY HOWIE from the hospital and keeps him at their hideout.

DIANA is able to rescue her baby with the help of her fellow workers. In the escape chase from the RAP GANG, she is rescued by TERI, a transvestite male who considers himself to be a female. TERI offers to take DIANA and BABY HOWIE in so they can hide out from the RAP GANG. TERI earns her living from writing feminist books and offers to teach DIANA about feminism. DIANA and BABY HOWIE stay with TERI for the next fourteen years until TERI commits suicide from unrequited love. (He really lives)

DIANA blames herself for TERI'S death and decides to start a feminist magazine in her honor. "ZAP" becomes the paramount feminist magazine in AMERICA until ROCKY ASAHI-HOWARD'S RAM MAGAZINE begins to make inroads into ZAP'S circulation. DIANA, who is still in love with HOWARD, decides to infiltrate the RAM organization and do an expose of ROCKY ASAHI. When she discovers ROCKY is really HOWARD, she decides to save him from his despicable male chauvinism by converting him and his magazine to the feminist cause. All goes well according to plan until it is discovered she is the feminist infiltrator who is ruining the conservative reputation of the magazine. Added to DIANA'S mischief is the continuous problems caused by the RAP GANG. They attempt to frame DIANA'S, son, BABY HOWIE as a hijacker of RAM fortune cookies among other mischief.

In the end, HOWARD'S memory is restored with the help of DIANA and his friends and he and DIANA are married by no less than TERI, who has started a new male life as a preacher by marrying his MARY KAY cosmetics saleslady. Two of DIANA'S feminist friends are married at the same time to HOWARD'S playboy stooge buddies. All, no doubt, live happily ever after. At least they go off on a great honeymoon together in DIANA'S white limo.


Copyright Pau 2-613-539
Written by Ed Wode

Latest Work

  • Script 3 - Ed's 3rd Draft
    Creative Notes:
    This is still a story about the eternal struggle between the sexes which will probably never changed. The dialogue has been tweaked to make it a lot funnier

All Work

  • Script 2 - Ed's 2nd Draft
    Creative Notes:
    This is ideological battle between the sexes. The female lead, Diana Marble, after being taken advantage of, as a naive seventeen year old, by male chauvinist Howard Howard, develops into a full blown female antagonist of him when she is older and wiser. She bests him and his RAM org, Real American Male, when she infiltrates it and exposes it for the hypocrisy it is. Much enhanced comedy dialogue.
  • Script 1 - Ed's Original Draft
    Creative Notes:
    This is a perfect comedy vehicle for actors like Steven Colbert and Tina Faye. When faux dumb arch conservative Howard Howard, owner of the male supremacist Real American Male magazine hires ringer Diana, owner of Zap feminist magazine, as editor of R.A.M., she craftily converts R.A.M. to a feminist slant and does an expose of Howard as a misogynist hypocrite. The ensuing battle is truly epic.