Nowhere Man

Creator: Steven Axelrod
Age rating: Everyone
Nick sells his soul to give his younger self advice. When he returns to the present, that other version of himself is living the future he wanted. Nick is just a clone. Now he must outwit both his other self and the Devil to get his life back.

Synopsis: Nick Mallory is a mess. He’s a brilliant high school senior, a hopeless geek who’s too insecure to apply to Stanford or MIT. He’s in love with Jennifer McGrath, a girl who barely knows he’s alive. He has a sinking feeling he’s going to be working for his Dad’s cleaning company when he graduates. He jokes with his friend Carl Vanderhof about selling his soul to the Devil, but of course he can’t imagine himself being pathetic enough to actually do it. Anyway, as he points out: “The fact that the Devil was actually standing there, offering you a deal, would mean it was all really true -- God was real and Heaven and especially Hell. Which lasts forever and totally sucks.”

Nick’s high school career hits a new low at Jenny’s Christmas party when he gets into an idiotic shoving match with her father over the tree decorations and winds up forcibly ejected from the house by her football star boyfriend.

We next see Nick ten years later – working for his Dad, just as he suspected, wishing he could somehow go back in time and give his clueless younger self advice. The Devil actually shows up and makes him an offer. All he has to give up is his present day life – he has no soul to bargain with. The Devil clarifies: “You live in a hopelessly corrupted world. Every time you buy a shirt you’re supporting some appalling Indonesian sweat-shop. Every time you drive a car you’re killing your own planet. Every choice you make, every product you buy, everything you eat and drink is tied in with the earth-strangling corporate monsters that just ... well ... I don’t know how to say it. But I’m pretty darn proud of them, I can tell you that much. My babies. Anyway. Sorry but it’s true. Not to mention all the regular sins which are so common they’re not even deadly any more. They’re like the seven mildly toxic sins now. Did you declare all your income to the IRS this year? Did you tell any white lies today? Because -- I have to tell you -- that’s a concept He doesn’t really appreciate. A lie is a lie as far as He’s concerned.” ”So what are you saying? Everyone’s going to Hell?” ”Hey don’t worry -- over-crowding is part of the fun.”

With nothing to lose except a dead-end existence, Nick agrees.
He goes back in time, coaches the high school senior that he once was – telling him everything from sound investment advice and sports scores to the fact that the football star had a separated shoulder the night of the long-ago Christmas party and couldn’t have beaten up a toddler. The Devil laughs.
Back in the revised present day, Nick realizes his mistake, and begins to get the joke. That kid, the one he was standing next to, advising, that other younger version of himself, has just spent the intervening ten years following all the good advice he got. He went to Stanford and made a fortune in software development. He married Jenny. Unfortunately, he's developed a major coke habit and he’s turned into a complete asshole.
The Devil puts it into perspective for Nick: "You clearly couldn't deal with success. Most failures would find that comforting."
Nick has no place in this new future world. He's turned himself into a mere copy, and —worst of all-- his other self has been waiting for him to show up for a decade, preparing the ground, telling everyone about his “crazy twin”. He's looking forward to having someone with no rights (and no legal existence) to go to traffic school for him, and take his barium enemas and drug tests. Not to mention ... Nick is now the perfect organ donor.

It’s a grim prospect. Somehow Nick has to outwit both his other self and the Devil to avoid an eternity in Hell, win back the girl of his dreams and reclaim his existence.

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