My Lover Was a Logger

Genre: Comedy
Age rating: Everyone
A young journalist has to toughen up and show what he can do when he reports on a logging team headed by a young woman -- a team being targeted by a devious land-grabbing millionaire.
Project collaboration: Closed
Synopsis: Twentysomething Browning Drexel Cooper III – WOODS – is plagued with parental high expectations. His father obtained for Woods a reporter’s position on The Wall Street Journal, and now his parents are just waiting for his first front-page story.

Yet Woods doesn’t share his parents’ journalism ambitions. So when he is stuck at Chicago’s O’Hare Airport in a raging snow storm – and “done out” of a private “booth” by a young woman – he uses information available on the internet to write the story he missed covering.

Woods’ furious editor gives Woods one more chance – do a story on a logging company in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. His contact will be Phil Jr., head of the logging team.

Woods prepares himself with the latest camping gadgets from Sharper Image for his adventures in the North Woods. When Phil Jr. (actually PHILIPPA) turns out to be the young woman who got the better of him at O’Hare Airport, Woods’ troubles multiply.

Philippa has her own problems. Her father believes a man needs to take over his logging business. As Philippa is an only child, her father has designated the logger, ANDRE, as her future husband and the heir apparent. Philippa is not interested in marrying the designated heir apparent and adamantly believes she can run the company herself.

Unbeknownst to Philippa, her father’s logging acres have been targeted by a wealthy real estate developer for his next remote luxury resort. The developer’s agent BRENDA arrives to stage a sham campaign for preserving the locale of the spotted owl in order to wrangle the land from Philippa’s father. Brenda quickly seduces Andre to unwittingly help her in her mission. Philippa is suspicious and reluctantly asks Woods to do some online snooping.

Before Woods can come up with definite answers, Brenda cajoles Andre into tricking Phillipa and Woods into trekking through the logging lands looking for spotted owls. Unbeknownst to the others, Brenda removes all communication links to the outside world. Then she inadvertently lets slip the mention of a remote resort – and Woods puts the pieces together. Brenda realizes her mistake and twists her ankle to impede their return to civilization.

Philippa and Woods take off to hike back to civilization while Andre stays with Brenda, who is rescued by her minions due to a locator she’s wearing. Now Brenda will be able to hold her news conference without interference from Philippa and Woods. The news announcement will be that Philippa’s father is selling his logging lands to Brenda’s boss rather than sell for a lower price to the government.

At the last minute of the 11th hour Philippa and Woods arrive to save the logging company from selling out to Brenda’s boss. And Woods gets to write the front-page story for the Wall Street Journal, making his parents ecstatic.

Woods returns to New York and contemplates his life as a journalist. Yet the call of the wild – and the young woman who is there – draw him back to the logging camp. He arrives just when Philippa declares her place as her father’s heir in her own right.

Then Woods offers to fill the role of her royal consort.

NOTE: This screenplay is included in the book FOUR COMEDY SCREENPLAYS, which is available on Amazon at

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