Overall Recommendation:
3.3 stars
(3)
5 Stars:
0%
(0)
 
4 Stars:
33.33%
(1)
 
3 Stars:
66.67%
(2)
 
2 Stars:
0%
(0)
 
1 Stars:
0%
(0)
 
Premise:
4.3 stars
(3)
 
Story structure:
3.0 stars
(3)
 
Character:
3.0 stars
(3)
 
Dialogue:
3.0 stars
(3)
 
Emotion:
3.3 stars
(3)
 
 
1-3 of 3 reviews
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0 out of 2 people found the following review helpful:

If it's not broke, don't fix it

Overall Recommendation:
4 stars
 
Premise:
4 stars
 
Story structure:
4 stars
 
Character:
4 stars
 
Dialogue:
4 stars
 
Emotion:
4 stars
 
May 27, 2012
I like this idea for a film a lot. Casting for the two leads will be crucial. If it were up to me, I would put Sly and Arnold in the two lead roles and see what happens.

Robert D
 
2 out of 2 people found the following review helpful:

A premise with promise

Overall Recommendation:
3 stars
 
Premise:
4 stars
 
Story structure:
2 stars
 
Character:
2 stars
 
Dialogue:
2 stars
 
Emotion:
2 stars
 
Any time you craft a story where your protagonists are a couple of "old-timers" with lots of experience and substance, you have the potential for a great story. Such a story will be carried on the development and appeal of those characters. I realize that this is intended to be a short intro to the general premise of this competition, so I will accordingly withhold any criticism concerning character development. As a general premise intro, this script serves its purpose. I do believe that the premise being promoted is very film-worthy, though perhaps not as depicted in this script.

I only wish I had discovered this (I'm brand spankin' new to Amazon Studios!) a little earlier, and not on a week of finals! Still, four days might be enough time. It's all a matter of caffeine, right?
 
0 out of 2 people found the following review helpful:

Title is fine for now....

Overall Recommendation:
3 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
3 stars
 
Character:
3 stars
 
Dialogue:
3 stars
 
Emotion:
4 stars
 
December 08, 2011
I'm new here, and I saw the comp and wanted to see how it runs.

My problem with this initial draft is that this should not happen in the first 6 pages, unless of course this is a one hour episode and you're going to resolve it in 60 pages, which is what it feels like to me.

I think this particular scene should happen around page 25-30, the 'inciting incident' because if we jump out there with no background on anybody, the viewer/reader does not get the characters, they don't get emotionally attached, which is a failure for a lot of films these days. That is the difference between mega-blockbusters and films that fade away after a week or two of release.

Also, where are these enemies coming from, they just appear? On page 2 even. No backstory, no rhyme or reason, just there. And they just wipe out the US. ??? C'mon son! When you write this thing fully, it should start off with the characters, the head quarters scene, and maybe a tune up battle to show the efficiency of the Droid army actually winning, coupled with the longing of Gund for the older days. And Anu, the youngster, longing for those days too. You have that, however briefly, but it should be expanded, in my opinion. Then introduce the source of our antagonist, all in the first ten pages. Do more character background stuff, then on page 25-30, hit them with the attack.

I'm jazzed now, so I have six days to write my treatment. Look out!

Dec 21st - ok, so I didn't know this was just for the preview of the film. I think the story is original and will do well.
 

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