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4 Stars:
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3 Stars:
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1 Stars:
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Premise:
5.0 stars
(1)
 
Story structure:
3.0 stars
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Character:
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Dialogue:
3.0 stars
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Emotion:
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1 out of 1 people found the following review helpful:

Stuntin’ Man on a Ledge, Phone Booth, yet different, it’s a locker this time, bravo!

Overall Recommendation:
4 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
3 stars
 
Character:
3 stars
 
Dialogue:
3 stars
 
Emotion:
4 stars
 
September 08, 2013
I prefer introducing the story concept by the premise statement’s definition: A kidnapping, a time traveler, a vengeful cop, an obsessed ex lover, an insane killer, a doomed love affair, all linked by a mysterious locker 13.

This story concept is of a good degree of uniqueness and originality. It’s a smart genius treatment sharply recognizably revolving or converging issues or events of a story on a single in-story element like it was done in MAN ON A LEDGE (the ledge was the element of focus) and in PHONE BOOTH (the booth was the object of attention). So I so much appreciate Locker 13; Anthology of Fear (the locker is the element of attention focus), bravo a thousand crowns.

For the script, I commend the 3-Act structure elements incorporation degree, and good story pacing. There is as well nice characterization and dialogue.

Just a few script issues…

Page 1 for instance has a very big top margin; the whole space may not be all under margin confines, but apparently that’s it. This is intolerable.

Avoid poor page breaking such as leaving a character name alone at a page end or only with wrylies, and the dialogue on the following page.
 

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