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Script is confusing between British and US

Overall Recommendation:
3 stars
 
Premise:
3 stars
 
Story structure:
4 stars
 
Character:
3 stars
 
Dialogue:
3 stars
 
Emotion:
2 stars
 
November 26, 2012
Like what I'm reading so far.

Don't like how you write things like 'Not just any hoody, but the Hoody from hell!' I'd prefer you to just describe it, but I'm not a producer wanting to buy your script so I could be wrong.


Page 7: Kissage? I know what you're trying to convey with that, i just don't like it. Ah man... now it goes onto Feelage. It just makes me cringe when I read it. Again though that could just be me because I wouldn't write that myself.

I like how you're not afraid to tackle female characters.

You seem to be confusing US and UK mannerisms and language I'm not sure where the characters are meant to be from. they sound US, but it is set in the UK.

Cheques, not checks... page 12.

I'm finding this a very confusing script to read and I'm going to have to stop. Sorry man. I think you need to make it either a US flick or a Brit flick. At the moment I'm finding it too difficult to get a feel for the characters as I can't place them.

Are you an American living in the UK?
 

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