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Premise:
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Story structure:
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Totally disjointed

Overall Recommendation:
1 stars
 
Premise:
3 stars
 
Story structure:
2 stars
 
Character:
3 stars
 
Dialogue:
1 stars
 
Emotion:
1 stars
 
February 05, 2018
You have an interesting and creative style that makes this premise something to keep working on. But your stilted style makes understanding what's going on virtually impossible and entirely up to the reader to imagine. In a screenplay especially it's the screenwriter's duty to make the visuals and dialogue blatantly obvious to the viewer. The fact you created an alien language for this project shows dedication, which is good. But clarity is critical.
 

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