Overall Recommendation:
4.5 stars
(2)
5 Stars:
50.0%
(1)
 
4 Stars:
50.0%
(1)
 
3 Stars:
0%
(0)
 
2 Stars:
0%
(0)
 
1 Stars:
0%
(0)
 
Premise:
5.0 stars
(2)
 
Story structure:
4.0 stars
(2)
 
Character:
4.0 stars
(2)
 
Dialogue:
4.0 stars
(2)
 
Emotion:
4.5 stars
(2)
 
 
1-2 of 2 reviews
Sort: Newest | Most helpful
1 out of 1 people found the following review helpful:

Impressive and Better than I was expecting!

Overall Recommendation:
4 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
4 stars
 
Character:
4 stars
 
Dialogue:
4 stars
 
Emotion:
4 stars
 
February 28, 2018
Wow! For your first submission....this is very good. I'll give you guys a breakdown of what I liked and what I didn't just to make it easier.

What I Liked:

Once again, for you first script this totally blew me out of the water. A lot of the elements you chose to focus on are very hard for novice writers (even some professional ones) to use and break down well. The choice to focus on drug addiction (and perpetual failure) was very bold. These are dark topics that need to be touched upon carefully and thoroughly in order to be meaningful, and you've done just that. Though lacking in some characters, Chet is a wonderfully written out character that I much enjoyed following. Your decision to instantly portray him as a sad man living in a sad world had me a tad confused at first, but once I got into to script it made a lot more sense. He's wonderfully written out, and once again this really impressed for someone of your guy's age. I read that others guy review, and while I wouldn't call you the next Tarantino (please don't take that as an insult) he was right in saying the use of violence worked well. He was right in saying that your use of a single gunshot in the last chapter was more meaningful than some huge action scenes, it was pretty awesome too! The ending was great, and I loved the full circle. I loved the decision to focus on darker and more mature elements, something I don't see a lot of young writers doing.

What Needs Work:

Focus more on your supporting characters. While Chet was well written and great to follow, the others need some work. I need more reason to relate to and care about everyone else, specifically Jan and Derek.

Overall, this was a lot better than I was expecting. I actually created an Amazon Studios account just to give you guys the good review here where people can see it, rather than on Reddit. Keep Working, you've got talent.

:)
 
1 out of 1 people found the following review helpful:

An Amusing and Relative Prospect

Overall Recommendation:
5 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
4 stars
 
Character:
4 stars
 
Dialogue:
4 stars
 
Emotion:
5 stars
 
February 26, 2018
The story surrounding "The Devil's in Los Angeles" is dangerously relative to the unfortunate reality that encompasses many of us today. The struggle between life and death, right and wrong, and yes, good and evil are all touched upon in a way that makes me feel for the characters, and myself, in a way in which I have never before. Brilliantly, the screenplay touches upon all the aspects of character that today's film industry wears out.

The subtle yet consistent underlying theme of the struggle between man and the society he has created wonderfully presents the viewer with the raw and unfortunate reality that faces many of us today. We see it in the main character, Chet. His representation as a low-life drug addict forces us to connect and relate to a man we seemingly would never, allowing us to better understand the social issues deeply embedded within our society. We come to understand, that yes this is a man whom many of us would deem a "failure", but he is also a human as well. Through all of his bad deeds, whether it be lying, fraud, cheating, or cold-blooded murder, the brilliant writing leaves us no other choice but to support and relate to his situation and character. This isn't only present in the main character, however. Each of the characters representations of a different form of failure allows us to reflect on our own perspectives, forcing us to go face-to-face with our morals. Whether it be the AA leader's lack of integrity or the perpetual spiral of greed and deceit embedded within Derek and Jan, we are always forced to recognize each of these traits found within ourselves.

What struck me as most amusing, apart from the character development, is the perfect application of violence and drug-use in a way that we don't usually find within novice screenwriters. In a near Tarentino-esque way, the use of violence in The Devil's in Los Angeles is used with purpose rather than as a mindless form of entertainment. Most evident in the story's climax, the use of a single gunshot effects the characters decisions and development in a way that no big-budget fight scene ever could. We also find this in the characters drug use as well, Chet's use of LSD creates an atmosphere allowing us to see it as a reputable form of inspiration rather than a harmful hallucinogen, exposing us to a perspective that goes against our morals.

The Devil's in Los Angeles is by no means the best prospective film screenplay I've ever read, but it is one of the most meaningful. The wonderfully interwoven characters and each of their respective personalities thrusts us into a world where we are forced to confront our own personal demons, relating to each of the characters even though we don't want to. Even for those not willing, it's interesting and well-developed story coupled with a brilliant use of violence acts as more than enough to allow The Devil's in Los Angeles to resonate with every viewer.
 

Reviews for