Overall Recommendation:
4.3 stars
(17)
5 Stars:
52.94%
(9)
 
4 Stars:
23.53%
(4)
 
3 Stars:
23.53%
(4)
 
2 Stars:
0%
(0)
 
1 Stars:
0%
(0)
 
Premise:
4.5 stars
(17)
 
Story structure:
4.2 stars
(17)
 
Character:
3.8 stars
(17)
 
Dialogue:
3.9 stars
(17)
 
Emotion:
3.6 stars
(17)
 
 
1-10 of 17 reviews
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0 out of 0 people found the following review helpful:

Brilliant!

Overall Recommendation:
4 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
4 stars
 
Character:
4 stars
 
Dialogue:
4 stars
 
Emotion:
4 stars
 
August 30, 2015
 
0 out of 1 people found the following review helpful:

Great Script

Overall Recommendation:
5 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
4 stars
 
Character:
4 stars
 
Dialogue:
5 stars
 
Emotion:
4 stars
 
October 12, 2013
Great script!
 
2 out of 2 people found the following review helpful:

Why The Alchemist Agenda is a good movie to-be, story, and screenplay

Overall Recommendation:
5 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
5 stars
 
Character:
5 stars
 
Dialogue:
5 stars
 
Emotion:
5 stars
 
October 06, 2013
From my study, I consider that The Alchemist Agenda is a good movie to-be, story, and screenplay; below are the reasons:-

Passion-attracting characters

Like a good typical movie freak, I do not want to just be interested in and care about characters, I want to be passionate about them; for this to happen, the characters themselves should be passion-attracting. The Alchemist Agenda protagonists, Charlie and Ariel, are such as they sweep me up or to put it simply, they captivate my emotions thereby getting me involved; they inspire me as an audience and Rafael the chief antagonist just makes me want to spring into the scene with a good shot right into that head; he is the kind of villain that would make us want to jump into the screen.

Element/object at stake

There are generally two objects at stake, the first that I prefer to consider a subplot elements set; the members include the wrecked colonial ship plus its associated treasure (20, 000 drams of emeralds) and bell (The Santa Margarita 1622/The Ships Bell). The major plot object at stake is the escape U-boat goodies set; it consists of the escape U-boat, the Philosopher’s stone, and most importantly the Alchemy formula.

Generally, the objects at stake are all in-story elements desired by as many main or outstanding characters as possible. The interest they attract from the different parties is similar to that of the small black statue in The Maltese Falcon.

Obstacles/Conflict

The protagonists, Charlie and Ariel, have a lot of obstacles getting in their way of getting what is at stake for them, majorly Rafael the chief antagonist; he’s not even willing to embrace partnership deals on finding the U-Boat goodies, he wants to have them all by himself. At least Sterling Ray is not that bad, he at last teams up with the Charlie-Ariel side.

The hook

Because of its uniqueness and originality, the story concept of The Alchemist Agenda really caught my attention and from my knowledge and experience; I hold it strong that so it would do to the world film audience.

It was wise to besides synopsis and premise exposure of the concept, to also have it to a degree reflected by the title. The title has its connection to an in-story character (not even a main: Josef’s father), an Alchemist who different from his colleagues’ concision did not agree to destroy the Alchemy Formula but had another agenda for it; as the story unfolds, this agenda is revealed and so becomes relevant the title The Alchemist Agenda.

Genre

In spite of how good a work or idea may be, there is always necessity to be able to explain it to others in a few words or the possibility of doing an abridged exposure of it. For a screenplay, that is genre definition. The Alchemist Agenda script story exposition very well portrays a clearly defined genre: Action and Adventure.

The Script

This version or draft of the screenplay is highly standard in format and 3-Act structure incorporation. The Acts structure is clear, well-paced and comes alongside defined time settings. The script is a good illustrative education aid as it has just about all standard spec elements and they are all well incorporated. To mention but a few: transitions, shots, and narrative-form amusing or humorous remarks and commentary on the in-story happenings.

A concluding character quote:

Sometimes the deep end is more
satisfying than the shallow end.

-Charlie Rocklin as played by XXX in the movie The Alchemist Agenda.
 
0 out of 0 people found the following review helpful:

Great Actioner!

Overall Recommendation:
5 stars
 
Premise:
4 stars
 
Story structure:
5 stars
 
Character:
4 stars
 
Dialogue:
4 stars
 
Emotion:
4 stars
 
August 21, 2013
 
0 out of 1 people found the following review helpful:

Great story! Haven't I seen this movie already?

Overall Recommendation:
3 stars
 
Premise:
4 stars
 
Story structure:
4 stars
 
Character:
3 stars
 
Dialogue:
4 stars
 
Emotion:
2 stars
 
August 20, 2013
It's hard today to tell a story that hasn't been already covered. It is probably the biggest problem an accomplished script writer will face. However, when we see an original story that is not only a different twist on a familiar plot, it shows the brilliance of the author. Also, finding such an original story to tell shouldn't be done using the all to easy exaggerations and "luck" explanations.

This story meets none of those previous points, which doesn't make it a bad story nonetheless. It not only feels familiar, but when an original plot point arises, it feels like the author fished it out of an easy answers pond. It takes a lot of finesse to escape from this straitjacket, but I don't see it here.

All-in-all, a nicely told good ol' story, well written, that I could see myself watching if there is nothing else on TV and I feel like watching something that doesn't require me to think too much.

The writer definitely has potential and I would encourage him to keep it up. Good way with words that makes us want more. Enjoyable entertainment!
 
1 out of 2 people found the following review helpful:

Solid Draft

Overall Recommendation:
4 stars
 
Premise:
4 stars
 
Story structure:
3 stars
 
Character:
3 stars
 
Dialogue:
2 stars
 
Emotion:
3 stars
 
July 19, 2013
Good script. Well written. I'm big into action and history. I think this could be something really cool. You're well on your way.
 
1 out of 2 people found the following review helpful:

Fresh take on sunken treasure adventure, but beware of the cliches.

Overall Recommendation:
4 stars
 
Premise:
4 stars
 
Story structure:
4 stars
 
Character:
2 stars
 
Dialogue:
3 stars
 
Emotion:
2 stars
 
July 08, 2013
I enjoyed this fresh take on treasure hunting with the angle of alchemy, although some of the scenes did bring up memories of "Into The Blue". (Although with this genre, that'll be hard to avoid...)

The action scenes are well written in my opinion and I like the fact that the hunt goes global as opposed to staying in US waters. The script is well written and it makes for a very fast read.

I didn't check for typo's, but do check: page 22 red "could" instead "cloud". Page 29: "a cafes" or "cafes" or "a cafe" (not sure about the one on p29_

Obviously this is intended as a blockbuster and therefore the one-liners and cliches are almost part of the package, but I would try to avoid some of them.

Example: Where the receptionist asks Shacker no 1 if she can help him, he shoot her and replies: "No thanks. I'm good". Just shooting her without a comeback will add to the tension of the scene. No use in building up all that atmosphere, just to make it vanish with an unnecessary one-liner.

A lot can be implied without a character actually saying it, eg. where Charlie pushes Damian into the water when they head out to the Booty Call for the final time.

At the beginning of the story I envisioned Charlie as a younger guy, around 28 for some reason. The way he acted, talked, etc. But I guess that will differ from reader to reader.

Somehow I feel Ariel could be developed a bit more... Hard to explain, not really seeing all the various aspect of her personality coming together. (The Mossad vs The Academic) At times her character varies from strong to weak or was this intended?

In all an enjoyable story with loads of potential. I've always enjoyed treasure hunting stories and this one is no exception.

Congratulations and good luck!
 
0 out of 0 people found the following review helpful:

best fit for Action and Adventure!!!

Overall Recommendation:
5 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
5 stars
 
Character:
5 stars
 
Dialogue:
5 stars
 
Emotion:
5 stars
 
July 01, 2013
The story itself has potential. I like the writing style.

Can't wait to see it as movie on screen. It's one of my favorite projects here...

Wishing you best of luck!!!
 
0 out of 2 people found the following review helpful:

Great!

Overall Recommendation:
5 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
4 stars
 
Character:
4 stars
 
Dialogue:
5 stars
 
Emotion:
4 stars
 
April 16, 2013
Awesome!
 
1 out of 2 people found the following review helpful:

Expect sequels to this.

Overall Recommendation:
5 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
5 stars
 
Character:
5 stars
 
Dialogue:
4 stars
 
Emotion:
4 stars
 
For me, the screenplay was an enjoyable read. It was fast paced, never a lull and I can certainly see it being a hit movie on the big screen. Kind of reminded me of Indiana Jones but in the ocean-type.

What turned me off?
The logline was interesting so I asked myself why I didn't read it sooner and the answer was simple. This probably sounds trivial to everyone else, but there are some pictures with scripts which make me want to read the story. However, the one for "The Alchemist Agenda" didn't grab me and actually turned me away. That, of course, has nothing at all to do with the screenplay itself and I'm glad I did read it because I'm now looking forward to seeing the movie. Obviously there's "more to a book than its cover."
 

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