Overall Recommendation:
3.6 stars
(5)
5 Stars:
20.0%
(1)
 
4 Stars:
60.0%
(3)
 
3 Stars:
0%
(0)
 
2 Stars:
0%
(0)
 
1 Stars:
20.0%
(1)
 
Premise:
3.8 stars
(4)
 
Story structure:
3.3 stars
(4)
 
Character:
3.0 stars
(4)
 
Dialogue:
2.8 stars
(4)
 
Emotion:
3.3 stars
(4)
 
 
1-5 of 5 reviews
Sort: Newest | Most helpful
1 out of 6 people found the following review helpful:

One Hot Mess

Overall Recommendation:
1 stars
 
Premise:
1 stars
 
Story structure:
2 stars
 
Character:
1 stars
 
Dialogue:
1 stars
 
Emotion:
1 stars
 
March 26, 2011
In the opening sequence of this script, two crew members of an interstellar space ship are awakened early from cryo-sleep to find their captain dead and their ship off-course and heading for a crash landing on an uncharted planet. Just like in "Pitch Black" (an awesome sci-fi/horror flick). This is not to say that no one else can use this concept, but it needs to be done in a new and interesting way. It is not in this script.

However, unlike in Pitch Black – where the characters were faced with an immediate threat to add tension until the real threat was revealed – these characters have…a cute stowaway with an attitude.

Things go downhill from there.

The characters, which I found to be very stereotypical, react in surprisingly unemotional ways. The two men find their captain dead in a rather gruesome manner, and not once do they say, “What the hell?” or something similar. They muse about the cryo-mix being off or the pod malfunctioning, conduct an “As You Know, Bob…” conversation, and then wander off to take showers. Another time, the female character hears that she was temporarily possessed by an alien entity and has no reaction. Huh? She also has very little reaction to hearing that the ship is lost. Overall, all three characters demonstrate unrealistic reactions to emotionally or intellectually significant events.

The characters also do not do some very common sense things. They casually shower or nap instead of do productive things like try to fix the ship’s communications systems, find lost compatriots, or make a plan for how to survive.

The dialogue does not strike me as natural or realistic. The characters “banter” even when banter is not appropriate, and the language used is very “proper”. Not once does anyone say “We’re screwed” or “SOL” of “f&*%ed”. All of which are very typical and human reactions to a bad situation.

An interstellar ship just happens to have ice climbing equipment. Huh? This needs better set-up or an explanation.

After the ship crash lands on the planet, two characters explore a mysterious light in the distance (which they traverse on foot in a very short amount of time???) and end up finding a mysterious orb, which they immediately bring back on board the ship. *sigh* I have a real problem feeling any sympathy of characters who demonstrate TSTL behavior. Granted there is a brief discussion about the wisdom of this, but the character who shows some common sense (doesn't want the orb on board) is also depicted as the contrary, not-helpful character, and the character who advocates bringing it on board is the "hero" character.

The characters later put themselves at risk to find the female character’s father, who has been reanimated by the orb. He is carrying a bomb which they hope to reactivate. They eventually find the man and then….run off. No reactivating the bomb. And yet the bomb still manages to blow up later. Um….???

And the ending is an old and over-used cliché in science fiction.

Overall, this is a hot mess of script that wanders all over – ice planets, zombies, God, etc. – with unrealistic actions and dialogue. I'm sorry I couldn't be more positive.
 
6 out of 9 people found the following review helpful:

Intriguing

Overall Recommendation:
4 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
4 stars
 
Character:
3 stars
 
Dialogue:
3 stars
 
Emotion:
3 stars
 
February 23, 2011
This is a very intriguing concept and something the likes of which hasn't been seen a whole lot. Which is a welcome relief. There's too much fluff out there in this particular genre and I'm glad to see someone is out to fix that! Good job.
 
5 out of 8 people found the following review helpful:

Godstone, Jonathan's 2nd draft

Overall Recommendation:
4 stars
 
Premise:
No rating
 
Story structure:
No rating
 
Character:
No rating
 
Dialogue:
No rating
 
Emotion:
No rating
 
February 13, 2011
Kudos Jonathan, I thought I was reading the latest Dean Koontz thriller!
 
5 out of 7 people found the following review helpful:

Great Science Fiction

Overall Recommendation:
5 stars
 
Premise:
4 stars
 
Story structure:
4 stars
 
Character:
5 stars
 
Dialogue:
4 stars
 
Emotion:
5 stars
 
February 05, 2011
As I reviewed Jonathan's work I was amazed at the accuracy of his writing, Godstone. Apparently a great deal of effort was used to produce this exciting and accurate science fiction episode. I was pleasantly surprised that his mixture of imagination, knowledge and literary skill lead to this interesting script. Keep up the good work.
 
5 out of 7 people found the following review helpful:

I would pay to see this

Overall Recommendation:
4 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
3 stars
 
Character:
3 stars
 
Dialogue:
3 stars
 
Emotion:
4 stars
 
January 30, 2011
This is a thought-provoking script with a surprise ending that I didn't see coming. It's better than many sci-fi /horror films that have been produced.
 

Reviews for