Overall Recommendation:
4.3 stars
(3)
5 Stars:
66.67%
(2)
 
4 Stars:
0%
(0)
 
3 Stars:
33.33%
(1)
 
2 Stars:
0%
(0)
 
1 Stars:
0%
(0)
 
Premise:
4.3 stars
(3)
 
Story structure:
4.7 stars
(3)
 
Character:
4.3 stars
(3)
 
Dialogue:
4.3 stars
(3)
 
Emotion:
3.3 stars
(3)
 
 
1-3 of 3 reviews
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1 out of 1 people found the following review helpful:

Exceptional

Overall Recommendation:
5 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
5 stars
 
Character:
4 stars
 
Dialogue:
4 stars
 
Emotion:
3 stars
 
November 20, 2011
Hi Marty:

Thought you did an exceptional job on many fronts: the script, the dialogue, learning Final Cut Pro (which is not an easy piece of software to learn!), getting actors to act for you, researching your script. Obviously, the judges agreed. Quite an interesting addition to Amazon, I just found it today. I remember when they started back in Old Town Alexandria.

Some notes:

(1) The Cardinal with a gun ... the Church is going to have a fit.

(2) "History repeats itself." I believe it's: "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." George Santayana. Americans are not so great with history as we see each national election as indicted felons are put into high positions in government.

(3) Destruction of the Alchemist's symbol: (a) this is extremely destructive to the spirit of investigation and (b) kills your opportunity for The Alchemist's Symbol Part II

On terrorists, there were many personal POV"s that were expressed as an agenda which I'm not sure helps your script. You may want to revisit those lines and see where they actually contribute to the characters and the plot.

Since you've used the film to promulgate your POV ... I feel free to respond to your POV. As the grandaughter of the head of the Dutch underground, Johannes Ruyter, I'm not ignorant of family members being shot by Nazi firing squads nor ignorant of a 700-year old family fortune being spent on a cause that wasn't personal ... I'm not Jewish. So, I'd like to respond in a way that opens people's minds ... and creates healing.

There is a quote on a website which was built by Charles Annenberg in a film he did inside Palestine called, "No Child Is Born a Terrorist:" Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor." St. Augustine of Hippo 354-430 A.D. ~A pirate, from St. Augustine's "City of God."

I'd encourage you to check it out: http://explore.org

There are also some brilliant books written by Marianne Williamson (a fellow LAer) you may want to peruse.

Good luck you're exceptionally talented.
 
0 out of 1 people found the following review helpful:

Great Job

Overall Recommendation:
5 stars
 
Premise:
4 stars
 
Story structure:
5 stars
 
Character:
5 stars
 
Dialogue:
5 stars
 
Emotion:
4 stars
 
April 22, 2011
I've read the script and this totally helps visualize it. Very clever story. Can't wait to see it on the big screen.
 
3 out of 4 people found the following review helpful:

BEEN THERE, DONE THAT

Overall Recommendation:
3 stars
 
Premise:
4 stars
 
Story structure:
4 stars
 
Character:
4 stars
 
Dialogue:
4 stars
 
Emotion:
3 stars
 
March 12, 2011
Very entertaining presentation you accomplished. Thought the opening scene underwater moving through pictures was creative. Actors for the most part delivered their lines well, but strained my ears a couple of times to hear the whispered/softer dialogue. Concept of subs fleeing with Nazi loot got my interest and for the most part the story moved along explaining the history. After all was said and done though, it seemed to be just another treasure hunt chase and left me lacking, and don’t really think someone playing with a certain ring holding the secrets of alchemy would help.
 

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