Overall Recommendation:
4.4 stars
(20)
5 Stars:
60.0%
(12)
 
4 Stars:
20.0%
(4)
 
3 Stars:
20.0%
(4)
 
2 Stars:
0%
(0)
 
1 Stars:
0%
(0)
 
Premise:
4.6 stars
(18)
 
Story structure:
4.1 stars
(18)
 
Character:
4.0 stars
(18)
 
Dialogue:
3.7 stars
(18)
 
Emotion:
4.1 stars
(18)
 
 
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0 out of 0 people found the following review helpful:

TERMINAL KILL

Overall Recommendation:
4 stars
 
Premise:
4 stars
 
Story structure:
4 stars
 
Character:
4 stars
 
Dialogue:
4 stars
 
Emotion:
4 stars
 
July 29, 2014
TERMINAL KILL
My kind of movie.
Teaser –Opens with a jungle detention centre
Well done teaser, the location, the introduction of the blindfolded Kendra and the intro of Rick.
Icing on the cake: Pajari (OS)

Well timed CROSS-FADE

Overall professional set up, appropriate dialog and feeling. Kendra comes across as strong even when faced with the antagonists.

One of my favorite exchanges:
“Who do I have to kill.”

Response:
“Only bad people. Very, very bad people.

The VOICEOVER during title sequence is superior.
Clever: “There is only one rule for Terminals. You die before you talk. “


NICE PIECE OF WORK OVERALL – comments from Irene Hamilton
 
0 out of 0 people found the following review helpful:

Niice video

Overall Recommendation:
3 stars
 
Premise:
3 stars
 
Story structure:
3 stars
 
Character:
4 stars
 
Dialogue:
3 stars
 
Emotion:
4 stars
 
June 16, 2014
Dear Christopher Abernathy







Hi Mr. Abernethy, I am a student at Commack High school and I am doing a final project for my film class. I chose your film “Paulie” for my project because I liked how the movie was script and plan out by you and your cast. In your movie, I liked how that a kid that always gets bullied, stands up for himself because of what the bullied did by cheating on the contest. During the video, the part that appealed to me when was that when Paulie went over to Tony’s house and made him eat dirt and also wanted Tony to tell the truth that he cheated on the contest. The reason that I think that your film appealed to me was because I see that Paulie knew that Tony cheated and if Tony didn’t cheat, Paulie would’ve won it. The location of the video at the middle school was good, But the main location was at Tony’s house it showed the main part of the video of how Paulie tells him off. The reason why is that it was the main point of the video that showed the main purpose of the solution of the movie. The part I didn’t like was the camera angle of when Paulie was getting bullied in the first five minutes of the video. The good thing that I liked about the movie is that it showed how a smart kid gets pushed around and stands up to tell people of what he loves to do and that he is doing well in school. The group of people who would like this movie is parents, kids, and kids who get bullied. But the kids who get bullied should defiantly watch the video because it would show that they should stand up for themselves no matter who brings them down. In your video there was a lesson learned that if you love something and there are people in your way trying to stop you, you should stand up and fight for what u believe in. Thank you Mr. Abernathy for taking your time by reading over my letter, I hope to talk to you soon.



From Marc Pinner
 
0 out of 0 people found the following review helpful:

Film as Literature

Overall Recommendation:
5 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
4 stars
 
Character:
3 stars
 
Dialogue:
4 stars
 
Emotion:
5 stars
 
June 16, 2014
Dear Mr. Armer

Hi, I am Tyler Macchio from Commack High School and I am writing to you about your film "Terminal Kill" as a part of my final for my Film as Lit class. Your film is very interesting and I am a huge fan of action, adventure and suspenseful movies. I am very intrigued about the plot of the film. I like the fact that you gave the dying families a chance to be set free by doing a job for the government, but second guessing their self's because the last days of their lives they will be spending committing murder. To show that your film really impressed me, I didn't find a scene in the film that I didn't like. I also like the fact that it's pretty close today to what our government is like. You did a great job of the camera shots/angles, choosing the right location and the music that fits perfectly. some character suggestions to play in your film are, have Matt LeBlanc play Gianni Mira and Will Smith play Dexter Walker. I see big things coming out of your movie, all the movies out today that are full of action, adventure and suspense do very well at the box office. you have all my support with this film and I wish you the best of luck.
 
0 out of 0 people found the following review helpful:

FIlm

Overall Recommendation:
5 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
4 stars
 
Character:
4 stars
 
Dialogue:
4 stars
 
Emotion:
5 stars
 
June 16, 2014
Hello, my name is Anthony Martino, and I am currently a sophomore from Commack High School. I am taking an elective this year that is called “Film as Literature.” My teacher, Mr. Patterson, has assigned an individual assignment to search for a movie from amazon studios, complete our final project, and after reflect upon it. I chose to watch your trailer, and read your screenplay because by far the movie, “Terminal Kill” caught my attention the most out of all 9,000. My first reaction to reading the synopsis was how interesting it sounded and how good of a movie it would make. Not only did the synopsis grab my attention, but the trailer was outstanding. The overall choice of scenes and dialogue to incorporate into the trailer made it brilliant. The choice of the actors in your film was interesting as well. My teacher gave us the opportunity to be creative and choose characters that we thought would be interesting and fit well in your movie and I thought that it would be a great addition to your film if you had a well known actor in it. Regardless of that, your film looks very well developed with a great quantity of camera angles, different shots, and sounds affects. I have gained an interest this year in film that I never thought I would have and people who make films like yours are the reason people are entertained. Good luck in the future.
 
0 out of 0 people found the following review helpful:

Film as Literature

Overall Recommendation:
4 stars
 
Premise:
4 stars
 
Story structure:
4 stars
 
Character:
4 stars
 
Dialogue:
4 stars
 
Emotion:
4 stars
 
June 15, 2014
Hello, my name is Jeffrey Klein; I am an eleventh grade student at Commack High School in New York. I am a student of Mr. Patterson in a class called film as literature. After watching the trailer and reading the screenplay for your film Terminal Kill I have some ideas for the film that I think could benefit this project. First off, I thoroughly enjoyed the concept of this film. The idea of terminally ill people getting recruited for high risk operations is very intriguing and I believe a very original idea. I believe that this could be a very successful film because unlike a lot of action movies these days the backstory was very original and the characters seemed relatable. My favorite scene of the film was the sniper scene when the operative lost visual contact with his target and was trying to re confirm the target. This was my favorite scene because I felt as if I was there, the scene was very intense and well thought out. There is not much that I would change in this film. One thing that I think would make this film concept a possible high budget production is the name of the film. I think that the title Terminal Kill gives the film a vibe of being possibly a low budget or cheesy dime a dozen action movie. Because the concept of the film is intense this film I believe could be on the same level as a “Bourne” movie or possibly even similar to a “Dark Knight” vibe. I think the perfect location for the filming of the film would be either the city of Moscow, Russia or possibly be even in the United States somewhere in Colorado to give it a snowy and dark feel. If this film were to become a high budget production I thought of some characters that would fit perfectly for their roles. The role of Mr. Griffin could be played by Samuel L Jackson, Kendra played by Scarlet Johansson, Dexter played by Jamie Foxx, Nathaniel played by Johnny Depp and finally Gianni played by Bruce Willis. I thought these actors individually are fit for the personalities and roles of their characters. Overall I thought that the film idea Terminal Kill is very interesting and shows a lot of potential. After reading the script and watching the trailer I enjoyed the concept of this film.
 
0 out of 0 people found the following review helpful:

Terminal Kill

Overall Recommendation:
5 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
5 stars
 
Character:
5 stars
 
Dialogue:
5 stars
 
Emotion:
5 stars
 
March 05, 2014
I really enjoyed Terminal Kill.
The Script is thrilling and fascinating,
and I hope it will be shoot soon.
This great Story will be a good
TV-Show.
 
1 out of 1 people found the following review helpful:

Premise is Very Good... For A Movie.

Overall Recommendation:
3 stars
 
Premise:
4 stars
 
Story structure:
2 stars
 
Character:
3 stars
 
Dialogue:
3 stars
 
Emotion:
3 stars
 
January 30, 2014
I love the premise, and I do believe that you are going in the right direction. However, I do have some serious problems with the script.


First of all, in terms of pacing and emotion, I don't understand it. Why have Kendra standing off with the Ukrainian right after the Pajari "shoots" someone in the face? Why hold a funeral for a character in the first episode? Why have Farisi threaten to kill off the protagonist of the story in the pilot? What happened to the kid? Why is Kendra even doing this? I feel like motives have not been fleshed out at all.

The other main thing I am disappoint about are the lack of apparent character dynamics. Usually in a pilot, even if the protagonist is "new," often there is a scene which establishes obvious tension between certain characters. For example, in the pilot to Battlestar Galactica, there was a scene immediately pitting two "good guys," Starbuck and Colonel Tigh, against each other. In Mad Men, Pete and Don have a discussion establishing Pete's jealousy over Don's higher position, establishing tension between the young hotshot and the middle-aged veteran. In Breaking Bad, Jeese's immature, gangsta mentality conflicts with Walter's middle-class, family man demeanor. The list goes on and on. Immediately, the conflict exposes the flaws in a group that later on in the series would create concern for the viewers. You also need to plant more storylines in the pilot that you can explore later on. For example, it would be nice to establish a "B" character in this narrative. Kendra is obviously "the" protagonist, but it would also be cool to have have one of the other guys have a scene.

Which brings me to my main problem. It is hard to carry a narrative like this, when we know most of these characters are going to die soon, there seems like there is no point in establishing a bond with them. None of these men have a goal that need fleshing out. Point is, you should either take a page out of Friday Night Lights and focus on a character that sticks around a program with constant turn around (such as Daniel Griffin).

On the plus side, I do feel like Kendra is an intriguing character. Perhaps you reveal a little too much, but the idea of having her be the last of a prominent family seems intriguing in of itself. In order to not "spill all the beans," I suggest that you NOT subtitle most of the Russian dialogue. Let the actors spell out what is going on with their acting, and allow the audience to be put in a situation where they have been teased. It is also nice to have a female as a protagonist, and doing lots of gruesome acts (specifically, the cigarette burns) that does not play into stereotype. It is also nice that point out that she is a mother, and she does have to take care of a kid. Fleshing out the dynamics between Kendra the agent and Kendra the mother would be cool. Also, it is refreshing to have a male supporting cast that isn't being sexist, and instead inclusive. I admire that, even if I do believe that there needs to be more of a dynamic between those characters besides the "intro to Kendra" scene.

Overall, while the premise is really good, I feel like it would be best if this was a movie, and not a TV series. Perhaps, with the new submission under "movies," I guess that is what you were aiming at. If you stick with the TV series, make sure to write a pilot that fleshes out other characters.
 
0 out of 0 people found the following review helpful:

Decent Movie Script

Overall Recommendation:
4 stars
 
Premise:
3 stars
 
Story structure:
3 stars
 
Character:
3 stars
 
Dialogue:
2 stars
 
Emotion:
3 stars
 
January 09, 2014
This looks like a decent project, I would watch this, but it's similar to a lot of programs already out there.
 
0 out of 2 people found the following review helpful:

Terminal Kill

Overall Recommendation:
3 stars
 
Premise:
No rating
 
Story structure:
No rating
 
Character:
No rating
 
Dialogue:
No rating
 
Emotion:
No rating
 
December 29, 2013
Like I said earlier I wouldn't want to see a group of terminal Kill people on any kind of mission for the government. Seeing then bleeding from their illness would be a turn off. Seeing them hauling oxygen around would also be a turn off, etc,

That being said I would like it if the picture would use 'terminal Kill' people as a front for the characters. Meaning that the characters aren't really 'terminal ill' but instead using it as a front to get to their intended targets without beign looked at to conspicuous. It would have to be presented in that way to satifire the sensitive people as well to attain a larger audience.

Hope that help
 
0 out of 0 people found the following review helpful:

Terminal Kill, Tony's Original Draft

Overall Recommendation:
4 stars
 
Premise:
4 stars
 
Story structure:
4 stars
 
Character:
4 stars
 
Dialogue:
2 stars
 
Emotion:
3 stars
 
December 28, 2013
Will be very interesting in movie form. Watch out that music does not dwarf dialogue into garble. Need to understand the dialogue clearly. Other than that this is excellent idea.
 

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