Overall Recommendation:
4.2 stars
(11)
5 Stars:
36.36%
(4)
 
4 Stars:
45.45%
(5)
 
3 Stars:
18.18%
(2)
 
2 Stars:
0%
(0)
 
1 Stars:
0%
(0)
 
Premise:
4.7 stars
(10)
 
Story structure:
4.4 stars
(10)
 
Character:
3.9 stars
(10)
 
Dialogue:
3.7 stars
(10)
 
Emotion:
3.7 stars
(10)
 
 
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0 out of 0 people found the following review helpful:

Sky Pirates

Overall Recommendation:
4 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
4 stars
 
Character:
3 stars
 
Dialogue:
4 stars
 
Emotion:
4 stars
 
October 01, 2017
I thought the concept was wonderful. It's like an Indiana Jones movie mixed with a war movie. I thought the beginning was the best part of the play, but I felt the middle and end had too much filler. I also feel the ending to be disappointing. The story ends with the revelation that all of that ancient knowledge was just about building a nuclear bomb? I guess love can conquer mountains.

I thought Jack and Sara's relationship began with a rocky start. Jack begins and ends the story as a cocky farmer-turned-circus-pilot, who happens to stumble across a girl who's researching a lost city of gold. Despite running away from him and generally giving him mixed or negative signals all throughout the film, she ends up running away with him. Being persistent is one thing, sexual harassment is another. I believe Jack was responsible for making Sara feel uncomfortable; but characters sometimes do immoral things, so your call.

The part where the Nazi general exclaims the master race could be the race to end all wars, makes me hate him even more.

Overall, I thought the concept was the best part of the story. The realization that losing men, fuel, and bullets to Nazis was all for a lousy recipe for a nuclear bomb kind of leaves a bad taste in my mouth. And the beginning of Sara and Jack's relationship could have made Sara look shy; instead of disinterested. But it get's better and less creepy by the end of it all; so good job there.
 
0 out of 0 people found the following review helpful:

Exceptional

Overall Recommendation:
4 stars
 
Premise:
4 stars
 
Story structure:
5 stars
 
Character:
4 stars
 
Dialogue:
4 stars
 
Emotion:
3 stars
 
March 11, 2016
Best script I've read on studios yet. Extremely good work. I think the story is brilliant. A couple of minor spelling issues, no big deal and easy to fix. Structure is solid. I have a couple ideas that I think would spice it up a little more in a couple places, but I don't want to give creative pushback. I just absolutely loved this and would really like to see it made into a film.

The one suggestion I would make is that you may need to shorten a bit. Script is just a little longer than it probably should be. Should be easy to do. There are a couple of scenes that could pretty easily be pulled together to take you down five pages or so without losing any real content.
 
0 out of 0 people found the following review helpful:

Sky Pirates.7

Overall Recommendation:
5 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
5 stars
 
Character:
5 stars
 
Dialogue:
5 stars
 
Emotion:
5 stars
 
November 17, 2015
Getting better keep at it.
 
1 out of 1 people found the following review helpful:

awesome

Overall Recommendation:
4 stars
 
Premise:
No rating
 
Story structure:
No rating
 
Character:
No rating
 
Dialogue:
No rating
 
Emotion:
No rating
 
November 06, 2014
I haven't read everything in da script; but what I hv been able to read is enough to assure me that it is one awesome piece, however the last second last scene needs some bit of spicing up, so as to meet with the ending perfectly. Anyways am looking forward to see it on da screen
 
0 out of 0 people found the following review helpful:

A working story scripting!

Overall Recommendation:
5 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
5 stars
 
Character:
5 stars
 
Dialogue:
5 stars
 
Emotion:
5 stars
 
February 24, 2014
The scripting of Sky Pirates is awesome, it works! For CONT’D notation as formatted as extension on the right of the dialogue character name, it is better it’s written in uppercase as that’s customary other than in lowercase as so on page 18.

Certain actions in screenplay writing better qualify taking up action formatting than wrylies format. For instance on page 9, (leans forward, pointedly). This is so because except for attitude that is usually parenthetically denoted with a simple word, for instance, ‘angry’, action for wrylies is usually in present continuous tense; present simple like used in the above wrylies is typically for action narrative, not wrylies. So, I prefer the wrylies ‘(leaning forward, pointedly)’.

For the title page, conventionally, contacts appear on the right and no need to label them ‘CONTACT/S’. It’s copyright and registration notifications that appear on the left.
 
0 out of 0 people found the following review helpful:

Great action-adventure story

Overall Recommendation:
4 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
4 stars
 
Character:
3 stars
 
Dialogue:
3 stars
 
Emotion:
3 stars
 
July 11, 2013
I really enjoyed this story and the pirate-angle. The script is well written and the action scenes in particular is executed very smoothly.

Only criticism I have is towards the characters:

1. Addie Mills - Certain aspects of the character seems a bit forced. I would've preferred it if he was a bit more head strong and had a bit more pride. For me he seems a bit soft... a sympathetic character. Would've like to see him more heroic.

2. Sara - Some of her love scenes seem a bit forced and illogical. Also, I would imagine her having more resentment towards Rheingold. Some revenge perhaps.

This is a fun story, with a great sense of adventure and should do great.

All the best!
 
0 out of 0 people found the following review helpful:

sky pirates

Overall Recommendation:
3 stars
 
Premise:
4 stars
 
Story structure:
4 stars
 
Character:
4 stars
 
Dialogue:
1 stars
 
Emotion:
3 stars
 
May 06, 2013
Good story line. you need to lose all the cussing, it takes away form the quality of the story.
 
0 out of 0 people found the following review helpful:

Fun romp!

Overall Recommendation:
4 stars
 
Premise:
4 stars
 
Story structure:
4 stars
 
Character:
4 stars
 
Dialogue:
4 stars
 
Emotion:
4 stars
 
December 24, 2011
This was a fun romp to read through. Good comedic moments such as the scene where one of the characters yells out something in a high pitched voice because of the leaking helium. Now I know that you are already deep into your test movies, I hope some of my suggestions can help you along the way.

In the opening scenes we are introduced to Sara and her father. After her father is killed, Sara presumedly flees. The next scene is that of  Jack Danger and his amazing flying abilities. Then Jack meets Sara after his aerobics. These scenes had me thrown a bit for a looping had me asking these questions. Why was Sara in the United States all of a sudden - to recruit a flyer for her mission? Why didn't she recruit in England? 

Suggestion - start the Jack Danger scene with Sara first then have Jack flying in etc. expand on why she's in the United States in the first place as opposed to England as she is British. Can she be American?

Jack Danger is an interesting character but I feel that he needs to be more of a take charge man despite his reluctance to take on the mission but does so for the gold.

Just my thoughts here and with the right set of rewrites this will hit the  theaters I'm sure.
 
0 out of 0 people found the following review helpful:

The Zeppelin has some LED in it's pencil.

Overall Recommendation:
3 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
4 stars
 
Character:
3 stars
 
Dialogue:
3 stars
 
Emotion:
2 stars
 
November 08, 2011
There are a lot of positives about this script. Great pitch! Money Pitch! It got my attention and i read the whole script based on the pitch in my own spare time! I like the setting, the jungle and the use of Zeppelins.

Characters were okay. I thought they were a little cookie cutter. I wanted something a bit different with this because there is such a great setup. I wanted the Villain to have more personality. I wanted to dislike the guy and i didn't.

This would play as the next Indiana Jones film in terms of setup.

I liked the structure, it kept me reading. The set piece near the end is a good one. I would have liked more laughs in this adventure film.

Another four or five good laughs would really drive it home for me.
 
0 out of 0 people found the following review helpful:

Great! Clearly desrves to be a winner. Excellent action sequences. Love story a bit forced, and I didn't understand why she turned him down after the kiss. She also has to be more feisty.

Overall Recommendation:
5 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
5 stars
 
Character:
4 stars
 
Dialogue:
4 stars
 
Emotion:
4 stars
 
September 11, 2011
Action is great.

Love story a bit forced, I didn't like she turns him down after they kiss. Not too clear to me why.

I would make her character more feisty. How many Germans did she kill? She has to settle the
account with the man who killed her father. Doesn't she?

All in all it would make a great action movie. Good luck!
 

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