Overall Recommendation:
4.0 stars
(1)
5 Stars:
0%
(0)
 
4 Stars:
100.0%
(1)
 
3 Stars:
0%
(0)
 
2 Stars:
0%
(0)
 
1 Stars:
0%
(0)
 
Premise:
5.0 stars
(1)
 
Story structure:
4.0 stars
(1)
 
Character:
4.0 stars
(1)
 
Dialogue:
3.0 stars
(1)
 
Emotion:
4.0 stars
(1)
 
 
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5 out of 5 people found the following review helpful:

A great sci-fi story...

Overall Recommendation:
4 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
4 stars
 
Character:
4 stars
 
Dialogue:
3 stars
 
Emotion:
4 stars
 
July 05, 2011
I really liked reading this one, and most importantly to me, you have it structured well to the point where it's not a chore to read. So thank you for that.

Premise: 5 stars
I always like slow telling, desolate sci-fi stories. I've always thought that's how space should be. The ideas in this one fall right in line with that. I really don't think there is anything here that needs tweaked. You have a good idea going.

Story Structure: 4 stars
If there was a 4 1/2 star rating, that's what I would have given it. The only thing I would have liked is the action in the last arc come just a bit sooner. 5-7 pages sooner would have been nicer. Maybe start it before Garth & Sam come back. Then they arrive and with Vance discover what's been happening. Right now, it's like the Godstone's said "He's made his choice" and it doesn't seem like it's that big of a deal since they return AND THEN the place goes to crap.

Character: 4 stars
Again, if there was a 4 1/2... Vance could use just a *tiny* bit more fleshing out. I don't consider him the MAIN character, so the detail that's given to Garth isn't needed, but maybe something along the way showing a bit more of why he isn't a believer in "a higher power" type person.

Dialogue: 3 stars
I thought the dialogue was pretty standard. Nothing really stood out one way or the other. I thought that the technical chatter was pretty good. It was hard to tell if Vance's banter was serious or just sarcastic sometimes. I think I liked it as him being humerous, but sometimes it was just hard to tell. Some of it was just a bit stiff.

Emotion: 4 stars
Pretty good all around. Probably another 4 1/2 here. (If only they gave me the option!! Argh!!) I liked Garth's initial reacton to the discovered area, but I thought Sam should have been feeling it the same way. Since we know how they end up, and how Vance ends up, and what the Godstone says... they should probably feel about the same way about it. I take it it's suppose to be the most beautiful thing ever witnessed since it's the tool of life, but Sam just didn't seem that way.

I hope all that helps you out. Those are just minor points up there, and maybe they'll help spawn some more ideas for you. Again, overall, I think this was pretty darn good. If it were made in it's current state, I'd go see it and enjoy it.

Keep at it, and good luck!
 

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