Overall Recommendation:
4.7 stars
(6)
5 Stars:
66.67%
(4)
 
4 Stars:
33.33%
(2)
 
3 Stars:
0%
(0)
 
2 Stars:
0%
(0)
 
1 Stars:
0%
(0)
 
Premise:
4.2 stars
(5)
 
Story structure:
4.6 stars
(5)
 
Character:
4.4 stars
(5)
 
Dialogue:
4.6 stars
(5)
 
Emotion:
4.6 stars
(5)
 
 
1-6 of 6 reviews
Sort: Newest | Most helpful
0 out of 0 people found the following review helpful:

Great Story!

Overall Recommendation:
4 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
4 stars
 
Character:
4 stars
 
Dialogue:
5 stars
 
Emotion:
5 stars
 
September 24, 2011
 
1 out of 1 people found the following review helpful:

A great film that will keep history in place for coming generation.

Overall Recommendation:
5 stars
 
Premise:
4 stars
 
Story structure:
5 stars
 
Character:
5 stars
 
Dialogue:
5 stars
 
Emotion:
5 stars
 
August 22, 2011
The plot of this screenplay is beautifully woven around the early years of Christianity in the great Benin Kingdom of Africa. Any lover of ancient history will appreciate this well-told story depicting the conflict between destinies dictated by oracles and destinies forged by the strength of the human will.

Princess Uyi, pride of the great Benin kingdom, has been consigned to pain by the oracle of the land which has pronounced death if she marries the one she loves. Prince Uno, heir of the neighboring Kingdom and Uyi’s great love, has a damaging encounter, too, with an oracle.

Thinking themselves doomed but determined to remain true to each other, the star-crossed lovers finally meet a missionary – Samuel Ajayi Crowther – whose faith in a Supreme God gives them answers to the questions of their hearts and sets them free from the oppression of the oracles.

With its well-defined plot and intriguing dialogue, Leopard Woman will make a great film that will keep history in place for coming generations.
 
1 out of 1 people found the following review helpful:

Overall Recommendation:
5 stars
 
Premise:
4 stars
 
Story structure:
4 stars
 
Character:
3 stars
 
Dialogue:
3 stars
 
Emotion:
4 stars
 
August 08, 2011
 
3 out of 3 people found the following review helpful:

I liked the story.

Overall Recommendation:
5 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
5 stars
 
Character:
5 stars
 
Dialogue:
5 stars
 
Emotion:
5 stars
 
August 07, 2011
I liked the story very much.

I copied and pasted it into a script template I found on line and changed passive voice to active voice where I found it.

I think it might be improved with some of the dialog reveals changed to action scenes.

The original format was for a stage play it seems. This may be why there is an overload of dialog.

Instead of listing recommendations line by line, I just rewrote the script and uploaded a version. Most of my changes were to change passive voice to active voice just as an exercise to see if there is improvement in the read.

Some specific action scenes might be to show the oracles more and show Uyi in more scenes where she builds the army of leopards.

Overall, it is a great story, well told!
 
5 out of 6 people found the following review helpful:

Great insight into local kingdoms.

Overall Recommendation:
5 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
5 stars
 
Character:
5 stars
 
Dialogue:
5 stars
 
Emotion:
5 stars
 
Screenplay scripts should be written in present tense, use active voice, and strong action verbs. This script might be improved by following that standard.

Example: First sentence: Passive voice, continuous tense.
"A leopard is slinking along."

The unusual names are a little difficult to keep straight.

The thing about Uyi actually becoming a leopard might be a little much to ask the audience to accept. It didn't seem to advance story enough to make up for the downside.

Good the way Uyi and Uno fall for each other and meet at their secret place between the two kingdoms. The script sets up their feelings for each other very well.

Slug lines with CONTINUOUS might be used a little more than usual.

I think the story might be improved by more visual action and less dialog.

Parenthetical instructions might be overused a little.

The thing about paying tribute seemed like a set up for something, but the set up thing never did seem to happen.

The seven year lapse might could be filled with something. It seems like a long time and we don't get to see what happened to Dedu. He seemed ready to pounce, then nothing.

Dialog has a tendency to be a little wordy. Usually we like to see a maximum of four lines of text for dialog.


Overall, great story! I loved it.
 
0 out of 0 people found the following review helpful:

I like the suspense in the opening sequence and the sureal imagery of a toddler taming a leopard. the script is full of realistic imagery of the old Benin kingdom.

Overall Recommendation:
4 stars
 
Premise:
2 stars
 
Story structure:
4 stars
 
Character:
3 stars
 
Dialogue:
3 stars
 
Emotion:
3 stars
 
August 04, 2011
 

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