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2.0 stars
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4 Stars:
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3 Stars:
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2 Stars:
100.0%
(1)
 
1 Stars:
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Premise:
5.0 stars
(1)
 
Story structure:
2.0 stars
(1)
 
Character:
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(1)
 
Dialogue:
1.0 stars
(1)
 
Emotion:
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1 out of 4 people found the following review helpful:

First Five Didn't Grab Me

Overall Recommendation:
2 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
2 stars
 
Character:
1 stars
 
Dialogue:
1 stars
 
Emotion:
1 stars
 
September 01, 2011
I decided to do a review of the first five pages of all the scripts, and come back to the script and do a full review if the first five pages made me want to read it. I decided to start with the scripts that had not already received some reviews.

I read the original script and the Amazon Studio Story Department notes and am using my personal interpretation of what they intended only.

Pros: properly formatted and visually descriptive

Cons: A bit too wordy, slows down the read, more like reading prose than a screenplay. Dialog is rather on-the-nose "Titus, it's time to fight."

Pros: Titus shows up on page 2.

Cons: There's nothing that makes me want to root for him.

The god voiceover was a bit heavy handed to me and the callouts for Titles took me out of the story. I'd avoid those like the plague in a spec. (pun intended)
 

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