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Premise:
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0 out of 3 people found the following review helpful:

Creative appraoch, but not enough to hook

Overall Recommendation:
3 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
2 stars
 
Character:
1 stars
 
Dialogue:
1 stars
 
Emotion:
1 stars
 
September 02, 2011
I decided to do a review of the first five pages of all the scripts, and come back to the script and do a full review if the first five pages made me want to read it. I decided to start with the scripts that had not already received some reviews.

I read the original script and the Amazon Studio Story Department notes and am using my personal interpretation of what they intended only.


Pros: Starts with a bang of bloody action, a real plus for keeping the zombie fans happy. And a nice transition to the banner, BTW.

Cons: Thick action/description lines. Bogs down the read. Dialog is on the nose. I was up in the air whether the line "Why don't you just die? was supposed to be humor.

Rewrite

Pros - There's some Roman history afoot, which I appreciate and a creative, bloody opening that appers to set up mystic origin.

Cons - There's some Roman history afoot, which gets a bit dreary. No Titus. Nobody to care about.
 

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