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Submitted Work

Movie Projects

Scripts

Title Average Rating Downloads Date
Created

PREMISE WARS Vernon's 11th Draft (Script 15)

4.0 stars
(4)
160 06/22/11

PREMISE WARS Vernon's 10th Draft (Script 14)

5.0 stars
(1)
16 06/05/11

PREMISE WARS Vernon's 9th Draft (Script 13)

No rating
11 06/03/11

PREMISE WARS Vernon's 8th Draft (Script 12)

No rating
13 05/29/11

PREMISE WARS Vernon's 7th Draft (Script 11)

5.0 stars
(1)
9 05/24/11

PREMISE WARS Vernon's 6th Draft (Script 10)

No rating
9 05/19/11

PREMISE WARS Vernon's 5th Draft (Script 9)

No rating
11 05/13/11

PREMISE WARS Vernon's 4th Draft (Script 8)

No rating
12 05/07/11

PREMISE WARS Vernon's 3rd Draft (Script 7)

5.0 stars
(1)
12 05/04/11

PREMISE WARS Shaun's 1st Draft (Script 6)

5.0 stars
(3)
12 05/03/11

PREMISE WARS Gerald's 2nd Draft (Script 5)

5.0 stars
(2)
11 05/02/11

PREMISE WARS Vernon's 2nd Draft (Script 4)

5.0 stars
(1)
13 05/01/11

PREMISE WARS Vernon's 1st Draft (Script 3)

5.0 stars
(2)
16 04/30/11

PREMISE WARS Gerald's 1st Draft (Script 2)

5.0 stars
(1)
11 04/29/11

Reviews Gerald Has Written

Cocaine Cowboy , Vernon's 1st Draft

4 out of 5 people found the following review helpful:

Great tight slapstick comedy.

Overall Recommendation:
5 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
5 stars
 
Character:
5 stars
 
Dialogue:
5 stars
 
Emotion:
5 stars
 
July 24, 2011
I found the story a good read from start to finish.

The changes I would make are:

1. Make the Hollywood antagonists more menacing; I mean really bad-ass tough guys. This would require that they not be black. In these times just a hint of racist bias can kill a project.

2. Flesh out the ending more. We spent the whole story getting there, we need a page or two to bask in our victory.

There are a couple of places where the story slows a little. These would be great places to work in some of the comedy that was omitted.

Good work!

Looks like a good team building up here in line with the original Amazon concept of collaboration.
 

PREMISE WARS, Vernon's 3rd Draft

2 out of 4 people found the following review helpful:

Style set is in there but hidden.

Overall Recommendation:
5 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
5 stars
 
Character:
5 stars
 
Dialogue:
5 stars
 
Emotion:
5 stars
 
May 04, 2011
Paragraph styles make it possible to collaborate using RTF files.

For some reason unknown to us script doctors, the style sets we named script01 and script02 get stripped from the RTF for this script only. Other scripts on AS retain their style sets.

A little investigation here might restore the edit capability.

The story looks good. We might can salvage something interesting out of it yet.

The real thing here though is the test to see whether it really is possible to produce RTF script files that are easily editable by each collaborator.

The key is in the paragraph styles. Each collaborator must use the same set and the script elements must be formatted using styles specific for that element. The easy part is that it happens automatically unless someone deliberately converts away from RTF format.

Looking good guys!
 

PREMISE WARS, Shaun's 1st Draft

2 out of 3 people found the following review helpful:

Oh No! We lost the style set.

Overall Recommendation:
5 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
5 stars
 
Character:
5 stars
 
Dialogue:
5 stars
 
Emotion:
5 stars
 
May 03, 2011
The RTF file came down minus the paragraph style set that allows for editing.

My next I'll try to restore it.


Great addition. Can't wait to see how the poor guy gets out of the duct tape.
 

PREMISE WARS, Vernon's 2nd Draft

1 out of 3 people found the following review helpful:

Looking good! But, the girls are not gay.

Overall Recommendation:
5 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
5 stars
 
Character:
5 stars
 
Dialogue:
5 stars
 
Emotion:
5 stars
 
May 02, 2011
We don't want the girls to be anything but guy loving creatures.

I think the story needs to show a little leg in keeping with light hearted comedy. We want to make people laugh as well as providing the one thing that has been missing from this Amazon experiment from the get go.

THE ABILITY TO ACTUALLY EDIT AN RTF FILE.

Slick as owl poop now, as the man said.
 

PREMISE WARS, Vernon's 1st Draft

2 out of 4 people found the following review helpful:

Good Grief, what have we done!

Overall Recommendation:
5 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
5 stars
 
Character:
5 stars
 
Dialogue:
5 stars
 
Emotion:
5 stars
 
April 30, 2011
Oh no!

I didn't want the girls to be gay.

Oh I see, it is the Neuro Obsessive Scriptamos Mania that causes it. The script reviewer takes on the characteristics of the characters in the script.

Okay, lets keep going.
 

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