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Submitted Work

Movie Projects

Scripts

Title Average Rating Downloads Date
Created

America's Ben Franklin in: The Electrocution String Giacomo's 1st Draft (Script 24)

No rating
18 01/13/12

The company of the wandering nomads Giacomo's Original Draft (Script 1)

3.3 stars
(3)
12 02/28/11

Reviews Giacomo Has Written

Rayfield Scott, Ryu's Original Draft

1 out of 3 people found the following review helpful:

A good western!

Overall Recommendation:
4 stars
 
Premise:
3 stars
 
Story structure:
4 stars
 
Character:
3 stars
 
Dialogue:
3 stars
 
Emotion:
3 stars
 
April 12, 2011
Start by saying that it's a good work!

The plot is interesting, the subplots well-designed and well-intersected with the main one.
The main character was developed very well: it's a deep character, very well structured, and its dialogues are (almost) never out of context.
You can't say the same thing about the antagonist: he is first presented as a rapist and murderer, and then in some cases shows a humanity that doesn't suit him.

I like the relationships between the characters: real and well built. The same can be said of the main conflict between protagonist and antagonist: it keeps alive the interest in the story.

One thing to note: where is the first plot twist? It's fondamental for a good script, but I wasn't able to find it. It could be when Beth hires Ray to find her brother, but in this case this is a rather weak plot twist, cause it doesn't change the course of the story (Ray still continues to look for Garrison).

The final (after the climax) does not hold: Ray killed Beth's brother (and she loved him so much), so it is unthinkable that she returns to live with him.

Another thing that I do not like is the title: the name of the main character recalls too the various “Wyatt Earp” or “Billy the kid”.

Finally, a good job, but in my opinion not good enough to win a contest.
 

Kodiak Hybrid Show, Au's Original Draft

3 out of 3 people found the following review helpful:

A very promising cartoon.

Overall Recommendation:
3 stars
 
Premise:
3 stars
 
Story structure:
2 stars
 
Character:
3 stars
 
Dialogue:
3 stars
 
Emotion:
3 stars
 
April 09, 2011
Good work!

A good script, I liked it. The bases there are: a good main character (with some shortcomings, however), a good (fake) antagonist, nice plot twists. Good also the references to real life.

Let's start with things that do not go:
- The plot! is too muddled: I really didn't understand well.
- The dialogues are sometimes too similar between the various characters. The reader should know which character is talking when he reads a joke. Sometimes that does not happen.
- Some characters are not well explored.
- The names Gregsky and Griesle are too similar, are mixed.
 

Asphalt John (Careful Who You Screw With), Richard's Original Draft

3 out of 3 people found the following review helpful:

I like it a lot!

Overall Recommendation:
4 stars
 
Premise:
4 stars
 
Story structure:
4 stars
 
Character:
4 stars
 
Dialogue:
4 stars
 
Emotion:
4 stars
 
March 27, 2011
I really liked it!

The story is really well structured, the dialogues are fast and never out of context, and the characters are well defined.

I also really enjoyed the relationships between the characters: they born naturally and grow without unreal or absurd situations.

One thing that IMHO is not well developed is the character of the Mechanic (and I think it's important because it represents the coup de théâtre). It is not clear where it comes from and why the protagonist has taught him everything he knows. Is it an ex fbi agent him too? (However, why he calls the protagonist John and not Michael?)

Well done!
 

Animal Heads, Alexis's Original Draft

2 out of 6 people found the following review helpful:

A good work!

Overall Recommendation:
4 stars
 
Premise:
3 stars
 
Story structure:
3 stars
 
Character:
4 stars
 
Dialogue:
4 stars
 
Emotion:
3 stars
 
March 19, 2011
I like it.
Good dialogues, good characters, good plot. Almost never predictable.

The only comment I can make is that some characters (like the Jack's ex-girlfriend or Hannah) could be developed better and better integrated into the story. Especially the character of Hannah does not understand where it comes from.

Anyway, well done :)
 

Gimme Shelter, Marty's 2nd Draft

1 out of 2 people found the following review helpful:

I like...

Overall Recommendation:
4 stars
 
Premise:
3 stars
 
Story structure:
4 stars
 
Character:
3 stars
 
Dialogue:
4 stars
 
Emotion:
3 stars
 
March 14, 2011
the dialogues, I like the plot, I like the subplots, but:

- the protagonist is too skilled. He seems Bruce Willis in "The last boy scout" without his defects.
- there are too many flashbacks to not be a movie made of flashbacks. You might think of turning it into a flashbacks movie. I do not think it would lose the action and suspense.

Anyway, I like it. Well done!
 

BERMUDA TRIANGLE, Tom's Original Draft

1 out of 2 people found the following review helpful:

I like the dialogues ...

Overall Recommendation:
3 stars
 
Premise:
3 stars
 
Story structure:
2 stars
 
Character:
2 stars
 
Dialogue:
3 stars
 
Emotion:
2 stars
 
March 12, 2011
... but the story is too linear (though it doesn't seem). There aren't subplots, not even a conflict so marked.
Some characters then (as Heather) IMHO are too forced.
 

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