At Amazon Studios

 
 
 

About

I am a big fan of thrillers and horror, although I absolutely love comedy of all kinds, and also a few dramas e.g. Crash. I have always wanted to be a screenwriter/director since I was 3! I know you've probably heard this all before, but I have something unique to offer.
 

Reviews Christopher Has Written

Stealing Elvis, Lew's Original Draft

0 out of 1 people found the following review helpful:

A great family-friendly comedy!

Overall Recommendation:
4 stars
 
Premise:
4 stars
 
Story structure:
3 stars
 
Character:
5 stars
 
Dialogue:
4 stars
 
Emotion:
4 stars
 
March 19, 2011
OK, so this is going to be quite short. If you can send me a private message with your email, I can attach some detailed notes.

Premise
This is very simple, which can only be good. It's the simple ideas that are successful. Even though the main plot isn't very clear at times, and the story diverts into topics like one of the character's gambling, most of the time, it's clear.

Story Structure
For this type of project, the story structure isn't that important. It's more about keeping up the pace and giving us a few laughs. It isn't very clear, but the storyline itself makes up for that. One thing, that doesn't really fit into this category, but is still useful. After that terrorist scare, where the heck are the police? There is no sign of them. You should make it clear that Sid made a fake call to the police i.e. no one was on the end of the phone.

Character:
I'm loving the chemistry between the two main characters. It's obvious that they are brother and sister! Very well done on those characters. On other characters like Habib, well done, you made me dislike him. That was your objective for that character, right? Well, I'm assuming it was. Elvis seems friendly enough as a dog, and quite funny and playful. The only character I think you need to work on is Barney. Even though he seems like the idiot, some of his dialogue isn't right for his character. Also, at one point, you call Tori "Gloria," as well as in your synopsis. Even if Gloria is her other name, it's better to stick to Tori. If you give me your email, I can send you your script with annotations, so you can see where you put Gloria instead of Tori. Also, Habib is called Butrus in your synopsis.

Emotion:
Well, you got the chemistry between the characters very well done. The relationship between Habib and the arab guy isn't very clear and Barney and Nancy's relationship isn't very clear as well.

Overall, very good first draft. Quite a lot of small spelling and grammar mistakes, but I'm sure you didn't do them on purpose. Most of it is fine. Give me your email, so I can send you an annotated copy of your script.
 

Favorite Movies

Scream
Inception
Titanic
Dumb and Dumber
Mean Girls
Crash
The Departed
The Shining
 

Influences

Wes Craven
Kevin Williamson
Jerry Bruckheimer
Christopher Nolan
 

Following

0 Projects

0 People