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Submitted Work

Movie Projects

Scripts

Title Average Rating Downloads Date
Created

ZvG: Zombies Vs Gladiators Tommy's 2nd Draft (Script 17)

3.0 stars
(1)
22 07/20/11

ZvG: Zombies Vs Gladiators Tommy's 1st Draft (Script 13)

3.0 stars
(1)
28 07/12/11

Sweepstakes Tommy's Original Draft (Script 1)

4.0 stars
(2)
10 04/05/11

Reviews Tommy Has Written

Whodidit?, Taylor's Original Draft

2 out of 4 people found the following review helpful:

Excellent pace, great dialogue

Overall Recommendation:
4 stars
 
Premise:
4 stars
 
Story structure:
3 stars
 
Character:
4 stars
 
Dialogue:
5 stars
 
Emotion:
3 stars
 
April 06, 2011
First off, the pace is really perfect. The momentum of the story kept me reading and I never felt bored or put off, which is great for getting people to enjoy your story.

The dialogue is excellent and the characters are all really fun to read and have their own personalities. The only thing I'd agree with some of the other reviewers on is the Cops start to blend together after about the midpoint.

Since the good cop in most of these stories is generally more of the vein of "just trying to get the answers", I'd say you could probably sprinkle in some more of the Bad Cop being abrasive or threatening. Early on he has some funny things to say, but after a while it felt like he wasn't being as pushy or snarky.

Speaking of funny, some really excellent comedic moments and funny pieces of dialogue.

The other thing I would say is that I did end up figuring out what was going on about halfway through. This actually didn't diminish my enjoyment of the script, but I think maybe when they are interrogating Nancy the second time, the stuff about Van saying his problems are going away gives it away too much. The cocaine stuff is perfect and sets in the right amount of doubt and clues, but maybe if you can somehow restructure the way Nancy tells this clue it might be not as obvious. And to be honest, if I was watching and hearing this scene, I'd probably not make the connection like I did when I read it. But just my two cents on that.

All in all, really enjoyable! I'd definitely watch this movie.
 

Favorite Movies

Ghostbusters
The Big Lebowski
Pulp Fiction
Star Wars
Clerks
Spaceballs
Lord of the Rings
Brazil
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
 

Influences

Mel Brooks
Quentin Tarantino
Kevin Smith
George Lucas
 

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