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Here there is a sample of some of the video work that I have done.
http://www.youtube.com/user/e...
 
 
 
 

Submitted Work

Movie Projects

Videos

Title Average Rating Plays/
Downloads
Date
Created

Murder by Moonlight Video 94

4.5 stars
(2)
35 01/08/13

Series Projects

Pilot Scripts

Title Average Rating Plays/
Downloads
Date
Created

Worldless Pilot Script 1 - Chapter One: When the Monsters Arrive

No rating
9 01/15/16

About

A simple girl that likes to write stories to make others dream. I usually write short tales but, as a filmmaker, I write sometimes things for the screen too.
 

Reviews Esther Has Written

Murder by Moonlight Video 94

5 stars
January 11, 2013

Burma Rising, Benjamin's Original Draft

3 out of 3 people found the following review helpful:

Between the real historic conflict and Manny's story

Overall Recommendation:
4 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
2 stars
 
Character:
3 stars
 
Dialogue:
3 stars
 
Emotion:
4 stars
 
December 04, 2012
I have read this screenplay with curiosity and interest and I have discovered that it is a story with a lot of potential that could be a beautiful masterpiece in the screen. However, it is not a perfect script, not even in structure or formal presentation, and in some moments it becomes confuse and messy. Like, for example, it happens at the beginning.

The story starts in the moment when these smugglers are arrested by the militar troops but then there are some flashbacks which are not formally specified and when somebody is reading them it could be confuse. So, why do not use, apart of the correct format of express it, the moments in which Manny's faint to introduce us this little flashbacks that are going to offer us more information about the story? Furthermore, there are all the flashbacks at the beginning and in the rest of the screenplay it is all a chronological story. That it is great but I think it would be better if the past story could be more separated and the audience could have more information little by little.

Furthermore, and continuing talking about the formalities, the script does not difference between day, night, afternoon, evening... It only tells us the story and we know that the time passes because it says: "Moments later". But this is not the correct form because the reader could be confused too.

And the last formal point to review it is that in the scene in which Manny falls into the river. Suddenly, it appears the first person of the plural in the the description part, saying: "We are underwater..." This is not a correct formal way to express the scene. It is more appropriated, for example:
EXT. UNDERWATER RIVER. DAY

Talking about the timing in the screenplay, the scene where Manny is cutting the ropes to escape maybe could result long when it is in the screen so it could be useful add some of the flashbacks in between to do not give the sensation that it is taking so long. I know that the idea it was create tension but it did not really worked well.

Other moment which needs more tension and drama is the part when Stubbs die. It is not bad written but it needs a bit more of emotion because, in my opinion, Stubbs is important, if not, why has the screenplay started with him?

But appart of these two moments described before the rest of the screenplay works well with the emotion and tension. However, there are a few moments in other scenes too that I would like to remark. Like, for example, the scene part of the waterfall. We already know for the flashbacks and previous scenes that Manny is a good swimmer so it is not necessary fall in the cliché of the waterfall scene that has been used in so many films.

When Dane is trying to make business with the army and at the beginning they do not trust him. I do not think that, suddenly, they give him a weapon to make noise and advert his partner to come to the militar zone. The logical thing is that despite all that Dane tell they still do not trusting him and do not give him a weapon.

And, in my opinion, I would kill Dane faster, only with the grenade. Maybe it is the impression that this character had in me but for me Dane is a minion of JP. I would made the end of this character quicker and I would made longer the final fight with JP. Because I think that, between the antagonists there are some that are more important than others and, for me, that one should be JP.

Now, talking about the characters there are original in some aspects but, for example, they need a bit more of background or development. And, in particular, the two final antagonist Dane and JP. I understand that they, at the beginning are not antagonist, they are also partners in crime. But the audience need to see a clear break in the script, a consolidate motive that makes change the posture of this two men and that it justify why they change their side. In the screenplay it is well written, but it needs that we see more how dual are these characters and how they do not have problems in kill anybody in cold blood or something like that. That would give strength to the characters.

About Manny and the other characters they are much better constructed. The only point to remark is that Manny needs to grow up at the end of the story, being capable of discover by himself the evil and the betrayal and having the opportunity to kill it.

The end is beautiful written and constructed and, in general, this screenplay has a lot of good points and scenes that could offer to the audience unforgettable scenes. The only major problem is the format of the screenplay and some weak points in the creation of the characters.
 

Blackburn Burrow, J. H.'s 5th Draft

1 out of 1 people found the following review helpful:

Between strange creatures and a lovely girl

Overall Recommendation:
5 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
4 stars
 
Character:
5 stars
 
Dialogue:
5 stars
 
Emotion:
4 stars
 
October 09, 2012
I should recognize that first I read the comic and when it finished I wanted to know more so I downloaded the screenplay and, for me, it is much better than the comic.

The character of Mister is just a Mystery but it is what it makes you feel interested in his story. Not knowing so much about him it is the point and it works great. Merry, however, it is awesome. She could be one of the most iconic heroines of the cinema, if this movie is released and she has a good actress because the character has all that needs to make that people love and had fun with her. She gives to the story the emotional part that in sometimes lacks a bit. But it is okay, do not worry.

I think the idea it is quite original because it does not fall in the typical zombie/ vampire monsters. They are creatures, evil creatures but we do not know which are they or where they come from. We do not even know what Yates it is. The only thing that we know is that he has styled the body of Mister's soon.

A lot of questions, good action and a funny and lovely character that gives to this movie a lot of spice to have success.

Good luck.
 

Favorite Movies

Seriously? Should I choose? Ok, then. But I like different styles and types of stories, from horror until musical. The only that I can't are the stories with annoying characters or in which the story follows always the same repetitive schemes.
 

Influences

I like to say that Ray Bradbury and Sidney Lumet are my mentors because they have not only written the two books that most taught me about storytelling and films. They still teach me things when I discover a new piece of them. Also Poe, J. Kaminsky..
 

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