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Reviews John Has Written

Seed Book Trailer Project Video 21 - SEED

2 stars
good job, I like the suspense, could you not have done this with real actors, again great work, very chilling.
August 22, 2012

Seed Book Trailer Project Video 6 - The Seed

1 stars
this needs serious work.
August 22, 2012

Seed Book Trailer Project Video 25 - Seed By Ania Ahlborn Out Now!

5 stars
gave me goosebumps! good job and good luck!
August 22, 2012

When We Collide, Ryan's Original Draft

1 out of 4 people found the following review helpful:

Very commercial.

Overall Recommendation:
5 stars
 
Premise:
5 stars
 
Story structure:
4 stars
 
Character:
5 stars
 
Dialogue:
3 stars
 
Emotion:
4 stars
 
August 20, 2012
Ok, so I have only read the first 17 pages on my lunch break, but let me tell you, I am hooked and will be finishing it off when I get back home. This is absolutely the type of blockbuster I like to watch at the cinema.

Now as for feedback and advice, I feel that you have an interesting style that needs tweaking in places, mainly dialogue, although being an early draft I can overlook that. Great inciting incident and already I feel for the protagonist Tom, he has a lovely friendship with Ugo who is another sharply drawn character.

I will mail you with further comments when I finish reading it.
 

America's Ben Franklin in: The Electrocution String, Ben's 1st Draft

0 out of 1 people found the following review helpful:

Intriguing concept.

Overall Recommendation:
4 stars
 
Premise:
4 stars
 
Story structure:
3 stars
 
Character:
4 stars
 
Dialogue:
3 stars
 
Emotion:
3 stars
 
August 20, 2012
It is very interesting, at the moment there seems to be a vast flux of films being made about historical figures with a twist 'Abraham Lincoln vampire hunter" for one, this script reminds me of such a film. I hope we will see this made in the future.

Although the premise is very catching the structure is not spot on, the dialogue is a little loose and on the nose in places.
 

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